Why You Should Write Your Own Obituary (and How It Can Inspire You)

Introduction: The Power of Writing Your Own Obituary

The thought of writing your own obituary might sound morbid or unsettling at first. After all, an obituary is typically written after a person’s passing, summarizing their life and achievements. However, more and more people are starting to realize the profound benefits of writing their own obituary while they’re still alive.

This exercise may seem strange, but it offers an opportunity for deep reflection, life assessment, and personal growth. By imagining your own death, you are forced to confront the questions of what truly matters in life. What legacy do you want to leave behind? How do you want to be remembered? And perhaps most importantly, are you living in a way that aligns with your values and goals?

Writing your obituary may not only help you gain clarity on these big existential questions, but it can also inspire you to make meaningful changes in the way you live. It can push you to live intentionally, focus on what’s truly important, and take action toward the kind of life you want to lead.

In this article, we’ll explore why you should write your own obituary, how to go about it, and the potential impact this exercise can have on your life.

Why Writing Your Own Obituary Matters

Writing your own obituary is a powerful exercise in self-awareness and introspection. It encourages you to evaluate your life from a distance, much like a biographer or historian would do. Instead of focusing on the details of day-to-day survival, writing your obituary forces you to zoom out and consider the bigger picture of your life.

1. It Helps You Clarify Your Values

What do you want to be remembered for? What values do you want to leave behind? Writing an obituary is the perfect opportunity to reflect on these questions. You’ll start to think about what truly matters to you—whether it’s kindness, integrity, creativity, or love. As you write, you’ll consider what contributions you’ve made to the world and to those around you.

By focusing on the legacy you want to leave, you’ll develop a clearer sense of your values. The process of writing your own obituary forces you to confront your mortality and, in doing so, reconsider how you want to spend your time moving forward.

2. It Provides Clarity on Your Life's Purpose

Many people struggle to define their life’s purpose. They may drift from day to day without fully understanding their deeper motivations. Writing your obituary can give you the perspective you need to discover what truly drives you. When you step into the role of a narrator reflecting on your life, you may uncover patterns or themes you hadn’t noticed before.

Your obituary may help you realize that what you thought was important doesn’t matter as much as you once believed, or that your current path isn’t aligned with the impact you want to have on the world. This clarity can help guide you toward a more meaningful existence.

3. It Challenges You to Live with Intentionality

When you write your own obituary, you’re essentially creating a vision for the future you want to live. But more importantly, it encourages you to examine your current life. Are you living in a way that aligns with the person you want to be remembered as?

Often, we go through life on autopilot, reacting to circumstances rather than actively shaping our experiences. By writing an obituary, you are forced to stop and ask yourself if you’re making the most of your time, whether you’re prioritizing the things that matter most, and if your daily actions reflect your deepest desires.

The Psychological Benefits of Writing Your Own Obituary

Beyond the philosophical and existential implications, writing your own obituary offers tangible psychological benefits. Let’s explore a few of the mental and emotional advantages that come with this practice.

1. Acceptance of Mortality

One of the key benefits of writing your own obituary is that it fosters a sense of acceptance about your mortality. Often, people avoid thinking about death, as it can provoke anxiety or fear. However, by confronting it head-on and contemplating your life’s end, you can develop a more balanced and realistic view of death.

This acceptance can reduce the fear and anxiety that many people associate with dying. Instead of avoiding the topic, writing your obituary helps you see death as a natural part of life, which can foster a sense of peace.

2. Enhanced Self-Reflection

Writing an obituary forces you to reflect on the entirety of your life—from your accomplishments and failures to your relationships and dreams. It encourages you to take stock of what you’ve achieved and what you still hope to accomplish. This introspection often brings clarity, helping you assess whether you’re living authentically and if there’s more you could do to live a life that fulfills you.

Through this process, you may realize areas of your life that require improvement. It’s a deeply reflective practice that, when done regularly, can help you stay aligned with your true self and your goals.

3. Motivation for Personal Growth

Once you’ve written your obituary, you’ll likely feel a sense of motivation to live more fully. It can act as a wake-up call, prompting you to take action toward the goals you’ve set for yourself. If you’re not living in alignment with your values, this exercise can be a powerful catalyst for change.

By thinking about the impact you want to have on the world, you might be inspired to take risks, try new things, or simply be more present in your relationships. Writing your obituary gives you the clarity and courage to make the most of the time you have left.

How to Write Your Own Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide

Now that you understand the value of writing your own obituary, let’s break down the process. Writing an obituary may seem intimidating at first, but it’s an exercise in self-reflection, not perfection. The goal is not to create a flawless piece of writing, but rather to gain clarity and insight.

Step 1: Set the Tone

Before you start, think about the tone you want your obituary to have. Would you prefer it to be somber and reflective, or light-hearted and humorous? Your obituary should reflect who you truly are and how you want to be remembered.

Step 2: Start with Basic Information

Begin by writing the basic details: your name, date of birth, and any immediate family members or significant people who would be part of your life story. Don’t worry about being comprehensive at this stage—just capture the important milestones.

Step 3: Reflect on Your Achievements

What have you accomplished in life? This might include personal, professional, and creative achievements. Think about the moments that shaped your journey. What are you most proud of? These could be small moments of kindness or grand accomplishments. Be sure to include them.

Step 4: Consider Your Relationships

Your obituary should highlight the relationships that matter most. Who have you impacted throughout your life? Who have you loved? Who have you helped? Consider how you want to be remembered in the context of your relationships.

Step 5: Acknowledge Challenges and Growth

No one’s life is without hardship. Writing your obituary offers a chance to acknowledge the challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve grown from them. This can be a powerful aspect of your obituary, as it shows that you’ve overcome adversity and lived with resilience.

Step 6: End with a Vision for the Future

Finally, consider how you want your obituary to end. What message do you want to leave for the people you care about? Perhaps it’s a call to action or a reminder of the importance of living fully. The ending should encapsulate the essence of your life’s story.

How Writing Your Obituary Can Inspire Change

Many people who have written their own obituaries report feeling an increased sense of purpose and urgency. By putting pen to paper, they gain clarity on their values and priorities. This can lead to significant changes in the way they live.

1. Clarity on Goals and Purpose

Once you’ve reflected on your legacy, you might find that you’re not living in a way that reflects your true goals and aspirations. Writing your obituary helps you recognize where you need to focus your energy moving forward. This newfound clarity can guide you in making decisions that align more closely with your values.

2. Improved Relationships

When you examine your life and relationships through the lens of an obituary, you might realize that you haven’t been nurturing the connections that matter most. Writing your obituary can serve as a wake-up call to prioritize your loved ones and deepen your relationships.

3. A Renewed Commitment to Growth

Writing about the legacy you want to leave behind can inspire a renewed commitment to personal growth. Whether that means taking on new challenges, pursuing passions, or letting go of old habits, the process of creating your obituary can give you the motivation to evolve.

The Impact of Writing Your Obituary on Decision-Making

Once you have written your obituary, it may offer you insights that influence your decisions going forward. Often, we feel unsure about the choices we make in life—whether they involve career moves, relationships, or personal pursuits. The clarity gained from writing your own obituary helps you connect with your core values and long-term goals, making it easier to evaluate your options and make decisions that are in alignment with your desired legacy.

1. Making Life Choices That Align With Your Values

Many of us often find ourselves caught in the whirlwind of day-to-day life, making decisions based on what is expected or what is most immediately rewarding. We may take on jobs we don’t love, remain in relationships that drain us, or neglect our health in the pursuit of external goals. Writing your obituary forces you to examine whether these decisions truly align with the life you envision for yourself.

When you consider the kind of person you want to be remembered as, it becomes clear which choices reflect your deepest values and which do not. You can then prioritize decisions that contribute to a life that brings you lasting fulfillment and allows you to leave the kind of legacy you desire.

2. Boosting Confidence in Your Decisions

Many people feel overwhelmed or uncertain when it comes to making big life decisions, such as switching careers, moving to a new city, or pursuing a passion project. However, when you gain clarity through the obituary-writing process, you are better able to assess whether a decision supports your overall life goals. This newfound confidence allows you to make choices that feel more aligned with who you are, and ultimately reduces the sense of doubt that often paralyzes us when we’re facing uncertain outcomes.

3. Reassessing Priorities and Time Management

Writing an obituary forces you to reflect on how you’ve spent your time so far. It’s a reminder that time is limited, and every decision, no matter how small, impacts the narrative of your life. This process may prompt you to reassess how you allocate your time and whether you are using it in ways that truly matter to you. Are you spending enough time with loved ones? Are you dedicating enough energy to the causes or passions that bring you joy and purpose? The exercise may prompt you to reevaluate your time management strategies, enabling you to prioritize the most important aspects of your life.

Incorporating Your Obituary Writing into Your Routine for Ongoing Reflection

Writing your obituary doesn’t need to be a one-time exercise. In fact, revisiting it periodically can provide ongoing inspiration and insight as your life evolves. Just as people write annual reviews to reflect on their progress at work, incorporating a personal "obituary review" into your routine can act as a tool for reflection and growth.

1. A Reflective Practice for Life's Milestones

Life is full of milestones—graduations, career changes, marriages, the birth of children, and many others. At each of these milestones, it can be valuable to revisit your obituary and reflect on the trajectory of your life. Are you on the path you envisioned when you first wrote your obituary? Has your life taken unexpected turns? Revisiting this exercise at key points in your life allows you to evaluate whether you are still living in alignment with your values and goals. It helps you stay grounded and focused on what truly matters.

2. A Tool for Personal Growth

As you grow, your values, desires, and priorities may shift. Your obituary may evolve over time, reflecting the changes in your perspectives and life’s direction. Revisiting your obituary allows you to adapt it to your current self, reminding you of how far you’ve come and motivating you to continue moving forward. It can act as a tool for personal growth by encouraging you to set new goals, expand your horizons, and tackle challenges that may have seemed daunting in the past.

3. An Opportunity for Regret-Free Living

If there’s one thing that often surfaces when people reflect on their lives, it’s the concept of regret. We may look back and wish we had taken certain risks, told someone we loved them, or spent more time on things that mattered. By regularly revisiting your obituary, you can keep these feelings of regret at bay. This exercise serves as a gentle reminder that you have the power to live a life with intention, and you don’t have to wait until the end to make the most of your time. By checking in with your obituary, you can avoid looking back and saying, "I wish I had done things differently."

The Role of Writing Your Obituary in Legacy Building

Legacy building is not only about the tangible accomplishments you leave behind, such as property, wealth, or career achievements. It's also about the intangible impact you have on those around you—the values, lessons, and memories you create with others. Writing your obituary offers a chance to explore what kind of legacy you want to leave in both the tangible and intangible realms.

1. Legacy Beyond Material Wealth

Many people spend a large portion of their lives focused on building financial security or accumulating material possessions. However, research suggests that people are more likely to find lasting happiness and fulfillment through relationships, experiences, and meaningful contributions. Writing your obituary allows you to evaluate what kind of legacy you want to leave behind in terms of your relationships, your community, and the people whose lives you touched.

The legacy you leave can be just as much about the emotional and spiritual impact you have on others as it is about the tangible assets you possess. By reflecting on this when writing your obituary, you can start to make decisions that prioritize creating lasting memories with those you love and making a meaningful impact in your community.

2. Shaping the Narrative of Your Life

When you write your obituary, you are essentially shaping the narrative of your life. The story you tell in that obituary is your version of events—the way you want others to remember your impact. Instead of letting others define your legacy, you can take control and decide how you want to be remembered. This sense of agency over your legacy can be empowering, motivating you to act in ways that reinforce the narrative you wish to create.

3. Making the Most of Your Influence

One of the most important aspects of legacy building is the recognition that you influence others—whether through direct relationships or the more subtle ways you affect the world around you. Writing your obituary can help you understand the broader impact you have. Whether it's through teaching, mentoring, or just being a source of positivity for others, writing your obituary can serve as a reminder of the profound effect you have on those around you. It encourages you to keep making that impact, no matter how small, throughout your life.

Conclusion:

Writing your own obituary may initially seem like an uncomfortable or unsettling exercise, but it can be one of the most enlightening and transformative practices you can engage in. This reflection allows you to step back from the busy distractions of daily life and reconsider what truly matters to you. It provides clarity on your values, goals, and the legacy you wish to leave behind.

By considering your life from the perspective of an obituary, you gain insight into your accomplishments, relationships, and the ways you wish to be remembered. This deep introspection doesn’t just help you clarify your priorities; it also encourages you to live more intentionally and authentically. Rather than waiting until the end of your life to reflect, writing your obituary gives you the power to shape your narrative and make meaningful changes now.

The psychological benefits of this practice are immense. It promotes acceptance of mortality, enhances self-reflection, and motivates personal growth. It also challenges you to live with greater purpose and urgency, helping you create a life that is aligned with your values.

In addition, regularly revisiting your obituary allows you to check in with your evolving goals, reassess your decisions, and make adjustments to ensure you stay on the path toward the life you envision. This is not just an exercise in writing, but an ongoing opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and living with intention.

Ultimately, writing your own obituary helps you craft a meaningful life story—one that is reflective, purposeful, and impactful. By taking control of your narrative, you can leave behind a legacy that reflects your true self.

Q&A Section

Q1: Why should I write my own obituary?

A1: Writing your obituary allows you to reflect on your values, clarify your life’s purpose, and assess whether your current path aligns with the legacy you want to leave behind.

Q2: Will writing my own obituary make me feel uncomfortable?

A2: Initially, it may feel uncomfortable because it forces you to confront your mortality, but it can also provide clarity and help you live more intentionally, so the discomfort often leads to personal growth.

Q3: How can writing my obituary help me with personal growth?

A3: Writing your obituary forces you to reflect deeply on your life, achievements, and relationships. This reflection can provide clarity, motivate change, and help you align your life with your true goals and values.

Q4: Is there a particular way to write an obituary?

A4: There’s no “right” way to write an obituary, but starting with basic details about your life, then reflecting on your achievements, relationships, and challenges is a great approach. It should reflect how you want to be remembered.

Q5: What if I don’t feel like I’ve achieved much in life?

A5: Writing your obituary gives you a chance to reflect on not just accomplishments, but also the relationships and values that matter to you. Everyone leaves a legacy, and your impact on others is just as valuable as any external achievement.

Q6: How does writing my obituary help me make better decisions?

A6: It provides clarity about what truly matters in your life. When you know your values and the legacy you want to leave, you’re more likely to make decisions that align with your long-term vision.

Q7: Can writing my obituary change the way I live today?

A7: Yes, writing your obituary is an eye-opening exercise that may inspire you to prioritize things like relationships, experiences, and personal growth. It’s an opportunity to align your present actions with your desired future.

Q8: How often should I revisit my obituary?

A8: It’s valuable to revisit your obituary periodically, especially after major life events or milestones. Revisiting it helps you track your progress and reassess whether you’re living in alignment with your goals.

Q9: What if my goals change over time?

A9: That’s completely normal. Your obituary is not a static document but an evolving reflection of your values and life’s journey. As you grow and change, so can your vision for your life and legacy.

Q10: What is the most important benefit of writing my obituary?

A10: The most important benefit is that it helps you gain clarity on your values, motivations, and the legacy you want to leave behind. It encourages intentional living and helps you make choices that align with your true self.